Tips for you and your kids from TED-Talk
TED Talks are highly influential video sessions where world’s leading thinkers and doers share some really powerful knowledge on almost every topic. Speakers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes or less, which is streamed to millions of people.
From the hordes of topics discussed on this rapidly expanding platform, there is this one topic that crops up every now and then - “raising a child”. Children and their upbringing is seen as a major challenge these days. And parenting is getting harder and harder, with so many fathers and mothers finding themselves short of experience and time while handling any crisis.
Solving problems with TED!
Various TED speakers have broached the topic and shared insights on how parents can help themselves and their kids deal with such a problem. Here are a few takeaways from some exclusive TED Talks that you will definitely find helpful in getting through parenthood.
Tip #1 - Happiness must be the high bar, not success
Jennifer Senior, a New York Times writer-turned-author says, parents these days approach parenthood with so much anxiety. They juggle multiple, and sometimes impossible options to discover the right way of upbringing.
She says that instead of teaching them decency, work ethics, or other tactical skills, parents must focus on their child’s happiness. Also, their is no definite route for that.
Instead of resorting to different books about better upbringing or following other’s success stories, parents must understand that happiness and confidence comes by living life the normal way.
Tip #2 - Stop overparenting
“Parents assume that their kid can’t be successful unless the parent is protecting and preventing their kid from harm at every end”, says Julie Lythcott-Haims, the Dean of Stanford University.
Parents these days make their children live a checklisted childhood where every move is planned and perfected. They get so involved in their child’s life that children tend to stop believing in their own worth and potential. By doing this, parents deprive their children the chance to develop their own self.
Therefore, stop overparenting and let them make mistakes.
Tip #3 - A little danger is good for your child
Child safety regulations have reached an all time high where anything made out of plastic in the United States is considered unsafe, says Gaver Tully, a computer scientist.
We, as parents, prevent our child from touching anything sharp or getting near fire so much so that the next time they come in contact with something that is even remotely dangerous, they will tend to hurt themselves.
Creating a habit of experiencing things ranked dangerous is a learning in itself and helps get a grip on them.
Tip # 4 - (Only for girls) Teach girls bravery, not perfection
Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code and one-time runner for Congress, stresses on the soft and challenge-less upbringing of girls in today’s society.
There is a huge difference between how a challenge is approached by a girl and a boy. While boys find difficult situations motivating and energizing, girls avoid risk and failure. Girls are raised to play safe and be perfect. As a result, they grow up feeling insecure and prefer losing riskful opportunities than fight for the rightful positions where they would have done great.
It is because of such an ideology that they end up getting left behind even when they had an equivalent or even superior level of skill and talent. The fear grips them so well that they never dare to think or get out of their comfort zone.
Teaching them to be comfortable with social imperfection will not only help them grow, but will also aid in the growth of the country they reside in.
Tip #5 - Be the best mirror for your child
“Consider what you have as a gift and not what you miss as an opportunity”, shares Robert D’Angelo and Francesca Fedeli, founders of FightTheStroke, an Italy-based startup that helps stroke-affected children.
The couple shares the story of their son Mario who was born with a condition where part of his brain didn’t function properly. The medical term for the condition is called Stroke and patients affected by it have problems moving or feeling one side of the body.
The case with Mario was he failed to move the left side of his body because the right part of his brain was missing. The brutality of life left the couple disheartened and demotivated to the core. However, they understood that being sorrowful will only make them a bad reflection for their child. Taking motivation from the pain, they followed rehabilitation programs strictly and coupled it with sharing their life’s good experiences with Mario. Today, he is on the path to recovering from his disorder fully.
It is not the end the of the road when your child is not born perfect. And, no matter what, your child will always look up to you as an example. Therefore, try to be the best mirror for your children and they will turn out just fine, regardless of any limitation.
The final talk…
With the availability of so many resources, solutions, books, etcetera and our dependency on them, we - as parents - often forget to take the most natural approach towards parenthood. It’s time for parents to understand that no book or resource available out there in the world can guarantee that their child will turn out to be a genius, if they follow what it preaches. These speakers encourage parents to act naturally and avoid complexities. You will be amazed to see the results when your child learns real lessons from you and your life’s experiences.
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